A Lesson in Growth From the Kids.

Throughout these past few weeks, and presently, I am witnessing Noah and Avery facing their first real changes in life - especially Noah. I just imagine that it is difficult for children to change where they live. It must seem a bit like the foundation on which they stand is shaking a little. I lived in the same house from birth through age 18, and my parents still live there. I get the wonderful experience of seeing my children play with the same toys, in my same yard. (to be fair, my older brother and sister did go through a move with my family pre- me).

So, our move to Weaverville was a big change for both of them. Noah was able to ask every question under the sun for the 6 weeks up to the move. As a result, and after many visits to the new house, Noah was ready for the move, and has been happy as a clam since. But Avery showed wear from the transition. He became more grumpy, and had a lot of trouble sleeping for a while. He has settled in nicely now, and (like children do) has accepted the change with grace, and now has totally embraced his new surroundings with eyes wide open, and happiness.
But earlier this week, we all went to Kindergarten Orientation for Noah, and I watched Noah take it all in. And he was excited, but he was even more nervous. I teared up as I watched him navigate the hallways, nervously fumbling with his shirt, as his eyes darted back and forth in an attempt to take it all in at once. I saw a lot of myself in him last night - as he impatiently wanted to just dive right in to the next step of his life - so that he doesn't have to sit around and think on it. I know that feeling, and the wife and I worked hard to help him feel comfortable and at ease. He is so excited about Kindergarten, and is chomping at the bit to get on with it. He is ready for it, but it is a change in his life, and change is hard- because we have to grow. I learn so much form my children, and this is certainly one of those times when I need to shut my mouth and watch as they teach how to accept change. And after last year, I think I could use a refresher course on the topic.

You see, last year I actually said the following statement out loud, " I don't want to change. But I know I have to." By the conclusion of 2010, I was keenly aware that I had to change my outlook on the world, my habits, how I spent my time, who I spent my time with, how I parented, and my spirituality. In a nutshell, I had to grow. And growing is painful, and it stretches us, and requires perseverance, and time, and patience - and I am not good at any of those. But for whatever reason, 2010 became the year that I had to face some hard truths about myself, and the people around me. The entire year just played out in a way that taught me how much I still had to learn. And unlike my children over the past few weeks - I did not greet this learning experience with grace, or with a sense of calm. I just knew that my perspective on my life was changing dramatically - and that I had to answer the call to action. I just knew that I had to change.

Initially I was really, really pissed off about it. I was not going into this willingly - the world was going to have to drag me into this, and I intended to make a scene. I mean, this was not my idea. This was not my plan. I did not ask to see things differently, ya know? Who was calling the shots here anyway?
But this was a lesson in humility. I stole and read Jessica's book Bittersweet last month and came across this great passage, "When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow." My entire life has been pretty sweet up until this point. I have said Thank you, and have celebrated it many times. I have gone through some things, and I have made changes. But real, hard, difficult growth has (generally) eluded me.
So, like my kids - now it is my time to grow a bit. And it is time to take my own pulse, and discover if there actually is any toughness or grace inside of me. But in the midst of my own growth, there exist certain truths that sustain me. And it is that I can love completely, and that tomorrow is a new day, and that there is always much more to learn - more growth.

Thanks for the lesson boys.